"TANTRA MASSAGES ARE NOT JUST ABOUT SEX, THEY CAN LEARN YOU A LOT MORE," says PROFESSIONAL MASSER DAVID ONDŘEJ
David (28) has been professionally engaged in tantra massage for five years. Despite his young age, he experienced a lot. Why do most people have tantra massage associated with sex and see tantra masseurs as prostitutes?
David initially had massage as a hobby, but over time he wanted to start working full time. He started with tantra five years ago in Prague, but at that time it was not yet his main way of living, so he decided to go abroad to gain experience and inspiration. He has been traveling a lot for some time now and has his life practically packed in one suitcase. For the last few years, however, he has mostly lived in Brussels, where he has opened his own massage parlor.
One of the advantages of a tantra masseur is that you can work from almost anywhere, am I right?
Exactly. Thanks to my work, I travel all over the world. A lot in Europe, but recently I was also in New York or Miami. I just need myself and a place to do a massage. I always rent an apartment on the road and that's it. It's amazing that I can combine work and travel to finance my travels. However, now I am thinking of going back to Prague and opening my massage parlor here. Brussels has never been a real home for me.
Do you think that the demand for tantra massages in Prague has increased since you went abroad?
Yes. And it even occurs to me that Prague has become a kind of Mecca for tantra and related things. It is not so common in the world and especially within the tantra massage there are very few people who have the appropriate education. However, it is true that many Czechs do a classic erotic massage, but call it tantra because it sounds more sophisticated. Then we have to fight with the fact that clients have different expectations and that tantra spoils the name a lot. Many people then associate it with sex. However, the main reason for my return to Prague is family and friends and also the opportunity to open my own center, where I will do coaching courses on tantra. After five years of traveling, I would like to settle in Prague a bit.
How did you get to Tantra?
I started at the age of 23 and when I first came into contact with tantra massages, it first occurred to me that these are erotic massages where I will have to do who knows what. The second thing that came to my mind were the alternative people who greeted me in a batik T-shirt and with dreadlocks on my head. Fortunately, none of this was confirmed. I have been interviewed several times, I have undergone tantric training and I have also taken a massage course, which is needed for any type of massage. If you want to do any massage, you must have a basic certified course that lasts 150 hours. Since then, I only do tantra, I also devote myself to others
subfields and it changed my life a lot.
Did you mention that a lot of people have distorted ideas about tantra, so what a proper tantra massage should look like?
No one standardized her technique in tantra massage. The philosophy of tantra and its principles are important, but the actual implementation can vary greatly. I would rather describe how I do tantra, because everyone does it a little differently. At the beginning, there is an interview with the client to find out what his expectations are. Some people think that they will have a great sexual experience, some people just want to relax, some people just want to experience it and some people undergo tantra massage more because they want to move somewhere. Everything that is tantric comes from the heart. The basis is to create an intimate connection between the masseur and the client. How we massage is the technical side of things and tantra is the second. The two come together during a tantra massage. We can say that massage practice is a kind of hardware and tantra software.
What to imagine under an intimate connection?
People today often do not experience real closeness to another person. Just consciously hug someone. When you hug someone, the brain begins to secrete oxytocin (also known as "cuddle hormone"), which allows us to feel good, helps fight stress, increases immunity, breaks down depression, which everyone needs. During a tantra massage, one experiences intimacy, closeness, but also excitement. This is the biggest difference between tantra massage and erotic massage. In erotic massage you buy a masseur or masseuse who will satisfy you, but in tantra massage it is not about that, the intention is to create intimacy. The goal is to connect with a person and experience excitement not only in intimate parts, but also in the head and whole body and create a kind of safe environment in which the masseur and the client will feel good. I would never do anything I didn't want to do myself.
And what if someone has some special requirements? You will probably confirm to me that many people still have tantra associated with sex ...
There are a lot of such clients, however, first of all I would like to state that the client, of course, cannot tell me that he wants me to do it during the massage. We both need to feel safe and the client must understand that it is not about him climaxing, but about taking care of him and having a profound experience. Having someone take care of you for two to three hours is a great experience. Not everyone looks like a fashion magazine today, not everyone enjoys such attention, and even then, there is no guarantee that everyone will accept you as you are. Tantra is about the fact that the client is taken care of and does not have to return anything. It is a space where one does not have to do anything at all. A space where one is only in the receiving position, which is very difficult for many people. People want to have control over things, which is easier than surrendering to someone. But when someone comes and asks if they can touch me and touch me, I will explain that they can't. However, this does not happen very often. If the client tries it, I take his hands and put them aside when he tries it repeatedly, I reprimand him verbally, and if he doesn't stop, I stop the massage and tell him to look at me and tell me what's going on. Such a direct question usually means that clients do not want to talk, lie down and stop. It also depends on how you set the boundaries at the beginning.
How many such people with a sex requirement usually come for a massage?
What a part of people I can't say. They usually don't say that. Maybe someone is expecting something else, but they usually say it at the end, when they always say that it was even better. This is due to the high price, which is caused by the fact that tantra massage costs far more energy than classical massage. And if someone really wants something sexual and erotic, behind me are another thousand companions who have big muscles and big equipment. However, when a person decides to pay a larger amount for a real tantra massage, he already reads something about the topic and wants a real tantric experience. However, if the massage costs 1,500 or 2,000 crowns, similar people will probably go for more sex. My clients want to know in advance what they will get for their money. So there aren't that many problems with that.
But did you talk about the fact that thanks to tantra massage you can also learn something? What exactly did you mean by that?
There are also many tantric exercises. You must have heard that in order to love others, you must love yourself. You can also practice this thing in tantra. In addition, tantra can teach great how to experience excitement and orgasm in the head and throughout the body, not just in the penis.
This can be a little harder, especially for men, right?
Yes, and the goal of tantra is for men to learn to experience orgasm in the same way as women. And they abandoned the idea that the whole fun lasted a few seconds. When men masturbate, they clench their whole body just before orgasm, at that moment they seem to block orgasm and everything only happens in the penis. But when they learn to leave the body relaxed, relax and breathe properly, the excitement spreads throughout the body. And then when they reach orgasm, it often happens that the body literally starts knocking. It is a much stronger, longer and more intense experience.
Does this mean that one of the goals of tantra massage is to achieve a perfect orgasm?
Not at all, but of course it can happen and it's absolutely fine. However, the goal is not to make one squirt, but to squirt one's soul. It probably can't be said more popularly. (laughs) Maybe I would like to point out that in tantra massage there is no pressure on any result, the most important thing is to get into the experience, stop the head, start experiencing emotions and connect our sexuality with the heart. And yes, from this point we can then reach a perfect orgasm.
So is it more of a universal tool to learn how to love yourself, how to relieve stress, and also to learn to experience excitement and sex life better?
Exactly. Tantra can be used as a coach for anything - how to like more, how to experience more sex, but mainly it deals with intimacy and creates a feeling of excitement that is really deep. During tantra, a constant internal dialogue is stopped, which bothers many people who ask themselves what they look like, whether they are good enough, etc. I will mention this again with one example. The difference is when you just go to sleep with someone and when you make love to someone. Especially in the gay community, many have trouble understanding this. Often on Grindra and in other applications you first get a photo of the penis and only then the name of its owner. Even if you go to bed with the man, you will still leave with the feeling that you have satisfied your animal desire, but as a result you are empty, literally. (laughs) I'm not saying that everyone has it that way, but a lot of people are. All applications have been developed with the sense of connecting people, but in the end they make it even harder. For a person, such a huge selection of counterparts is not natural, and then it happens that we choose people as a product. This one is nice, but this one is even better, this one has beautiful hair, but he has a big dick again. Similar thinking is transferred to normal life, when you go on a date and some small thing does not suit you, at that time you will usually say that someone will be better on Grindra. People then find it difficult to accept something and build together, they do not have much taste. That's why I say that before going to bed with someone, everyone should go for a tantra massage to realize that it's not like porn. Creating a deeper connection is far better and more valuable, but not many people can do it.
Do all this information need to be explained to clients?
There is room for that at the beginning, but I usually talk about these things with the client at the end of the massage.
And what does it look like for you? Let's say your dream guy gets a massage. Can you keep up with the excitement?
A professional has to stay, but that doesn't mean I can't experience the excitement with the client. Chemistry also plays a role between two people, and it's completely natural.
What about erections? I still refer to the great excitement that is all around…
As I said, there is nothing to prevent me from experiencing the excitement with the client. It's natural, but I'll never let it go. But it happened to me once, a year and a half ago, when one client became my partner. However, the massage is not about me, but about the client.
I rather talk about the fact that we are simply men and too much excitement will affect us in the body compared to women…
It is so. It will happen, but it's still not about me. I work with sexuality, so it probably can't be completely avoided. However, I do not want it to sound that tantra massage has anything to do with prostitution. Excitement is normal, it is accepted, but it certainly does not happen often.
You said that it is not completely unusual for the client to do it during the massage and that to some extent this is taken into account. How will this happen?
Lingam massage also has its rules. You need to know where the minus and plus points and other things are. However, the typical up and down movement certainly does not happen in a tantra massage. That's the technique where you know exactly when the orgasm goes up and when it goes down. But sometimes a guy shows up who is so horny that you just touch him and that's it. However, my task is to create the experience as long as possible and teach the client to breathe and think in such a way that the pleasant feeling is extended as much as possible. The excitement then spreads throughout the body. However, I must mention that there are also people who are not excited at all and a great tantric massage can take place without it. It's about knowing how to do it nicely, and not just do it.
You said it was important to connect with a person. Are you able to connect with anyone? Or can it just not work with someone?
It is also part of the course and preparation. It's working. Right at the beginning, I try to establish a connection with the client. I copy how he sits and the other things he does, which subconsciously creates the feeling that I am the same, and therefore it opens the gates and the client has a legitimate feeling that he can trust me. Then it is a conscious touch, where I slowly approach the client and break down the imaginary wall. It also helps hugs. When you hug someone hard for more than twenty seconds, they usually start to trust you. The body already emits the already mentioned hormone oxytocin during the embrace. In addition, a warm environment, warm towels, lava stones help to open the body. Gradually, I get to the fact that I have in front of me a client exactly as he is at home in sweatpants, ie without a mask and pretense. Everything together is so strong that the connection will work in most cases.
So doesn't it often happen that someone can't do it and leaves?
No, at least it never happened to me.
How long does a tantra massage usually take?
Sometimes two, sometimes three hours. It always depends on the current situation. Time is very important here and in an hour the whole process cannot be managed. By the way, this is a great indicator to see if anyone really offers tantra massage. When offering an hour-long massage, truly tantric will be difficult. In an hour, you can't go deep.
Although tantra massage is not primarily about sex, how is it perceived from the perspective of infidelity?
There is no exchange in Tantra and there is always a variant that clients can come for a couple massage. Going on tantra is more about self-development, which can bring more to a relationship than damage it. But it depends on how jealous someone is. It's definitely not infidelity for me. When I had a partner, I always defended what I was doing.
What does your client usually look like?
It's a whole range of people, but mostly gay. However, both bisexual and heterosexual men also occasionally come. Couple massages are no exception. Even though I'm gay, I can massage a woman without any problems. There is no exchange in tantra massage, so orientation doesn't matter so much. The vast majority of clients are around 40 years old. I had a lot of clients younger than me, but also older. It's a whole range of different people. However, due to the price, which is around 4,500 crowns, they are mostly older detained men. There are often men who do not yet know if they are gay and are afraid to go to bed with someone. Or for some reason they can't. This is the best way to try it, because there is no pressure or contact in the tantra massage. They experience male sexuality from me, but they don't have to do anything and just find out if they like it. It's better than ordering an escort, because he doesn't know if they will have the sex with him, and here in a tantra massage he doesn't have to be afraid, because it's nothing, even if it affects sexuality. I had a lot of clients like that when I was the first guy to approach them.
How many massages with such a large amount of energy are you able to do per day?
It's a maximum of two or three, but the next day I can't do anything. For me, there is a ceiling of eight to nine massages a week. The more there are, the more it would affect the quality.